i got up embarrassingly late this morning.
i wanted to eat something healthy, so ate an apple and peach yogurt. and cocoa krispies.
and then i ate cocoa krispies again but instead of milk i used coffee.
i was really hoping it would be like a childish version of a mocha: a nice blend of all the "Mmmmmm" of the caffeine and the "YESssss" with the crunch chocolate cereal.
what I got was some clash of the titans breakfast mashup where my cereal got mushy and lost it's chocolatyness almost instantly because the coffee absorbed it all. and since the coffee is blueberry muffin flavored it made the whole thing not worth eating.
as i was deciding if i should just choke it down or throw it out someone knocked at the door. who comes to the door at 10:45am? i was hesitant to answer it because i was still in my pjs and was hoping my roommate (who was also still in her pjs...and on the phone...and further from the door than me) would answer it. so i pretended i hadn't heard. i heard her get up and thought "ok, she is gonna answer it" until i heard her walking up the stairs. clearly i would be the one attending to answering the door.
and sitting on my door step was a package.
EXPLANATION: for those who did not attend Moody Bible Institute let me explain something really quick. everyone has a box number. and when someone sends you ANY piece of mail they have to put your box number on it. at Moody i was CPO 1782. when a student receives a package CPO (Campus Post Office) workers would put a green slip in their box telling that student to take their green slip and go to the front counter to get their package. this was always an experience with mixed emotions. i loved getting a package but the CPO workers always thought it was funny to throw the package at you...no matter what size it was. also, if the green slip was put in your box at 3:50pm on a friday night, since CPO closes at 4pm (and of course who checks their CPO box 10min before CPO closes), then you couldn't get your package till Sat. CPO closed on Sat at 1 pm and if your slip got put in at 12:50pm on Sat you couldn't get your package till Mon.
i was surprised it came so quickly. and right in front of me. i could literally pick it up and have it in my hands in a matter of seconds.
it was a delight to discover that mail came so quickly outside of Moody. when i saw that package i was a little confused for a bit because i wondered why i hadn't received a green slip. then i realized: in the real world there are no green slips, no packages thrown at you, no 'one of hundreds of students'. you are an individual and your mail is a reflection of that.
Moody was truly a great experience. but if i enjoyed getting packages at Moody, i relish the experience now.
on a differentish note.
i was invited to a monthly meeting that all the social workers are required to attend. i was invited because my supervisor wanted me to give a short presentation on one of my projects i was assigned for the summer. it took me two hours to put together this five min presentation. but it went very well. and i was so happy when it was over.
after that meeting i was on cloud 9. all those social workers sacrificed so much to assist the women they were working with: time, energy, safety, comfort. i thought "THIS is what i want to do" in my excitement I thought "surely there can be no higher calling than this..." (ok, i was a tad dramatic that day but that presentation was really stressful and i was a little bit sleep deprived)
after the meeting i went to meet Jorgen for lunch at his office. Jorgen has an internship downtown and i was super excited to see his office and where he worked. after i saw his office we went to the 37th floor to eat in the cafeteria. a table full of other interns were already there and we decided to join them.
i spoke briefly with a girl next to me. she asked me where i went to school and i told her i had just graduated from Moody Bible Institute. she asked me if i worked downtown too. i told her no i worked in Lawndale. she stared at me like i had just told her i go to a rainbow world for work every morning. i told her westside; i work on the westside. that clicked with her a little more because she knew that Chicago had a north, south, and east so surely west must exist also. she asked what i did and i told here i was a social work intern at a non-profit called Lawndale Christian Health Center. more staring. and then she said
"hmmm. yeah...ok. ok....weeeeeell, i guess that could have a lot of impact...."
at first my bubble was popped. i realized that social work, although it may do good, would never make me rich; and that is what world views as the highest calling...
but then i wanted to slap her. as she sat high and clean and pretty working at her posh little internship, women only a few years older than her were at Lawndale Christian Health Center assisting expectant mothers with housing, food, and obtaining basic and necessary items for their coming baby. maybe i won't make a lot of money (and by maybe i mean most assuredly i won't). but to make an impact one does not have to make a lot of money. my interactions with this girl, as much as i loathe her perspective on life, grounded me and helped me realize that although social work is for me there will be certain things in life that i will sacrifice for the career that i have chosen.
all this to say i am learning so much. i love my internship and as i head into my next week, my last full week of being an intern, i was thinking about how much i have learned and changed and grown. my opinions on so much have changed. i have met women who have gone through more than i thought a human soul could endure; yet when asked how they are doing say, "i am blessed."
i think about my opinions on various issues and how they were challenged by my supervisors; how they told me to go in with an open attitude because i am outside of the situation for the women i would be interacting with. i don't know what they are experiencing or where they are at when they walk through our doors. my job is to give help where i can and counsel when i am asked. and although i was a little bit taken aback to discover that i would need to let go of my framework for a time, a framework i have been carefully, thoughtfully, intentionally constructing since high school, it has been a good time of learning and growth and discovery.
i have applied for a fellowship program called Jump Start with Mental Health America. my application went through and i got an interview which will take place next Wed. if you would like to pray for that i would appreciate it. i would really love to be part of that program.
