My time here was so much shorter than I expected it to feel.
When I first got here I felt like three months was a literal eternity and God
had made a mistake sending me here.
But He didn’t, and three months is not a long time.
A lot happened since the last time I wrote, so I will just
share a bit of what is happening in my own personal growth.
As I was preparing to come to Amsterdam, I felt God was
telling me that I was to enter a season of thankfulness and of being unafraid
(note: there is a difference between being brave and being unafraid).
And those two themes have been present throughout my time
serving at the Shelter.
Recently, at the community house and in the hostel, we have
been sharing encouraging stories of how God is working and showing Himself
faithful and present in the work at the Hostel and in our lives. I am realizing
that thankfulness is intentional; steps must be taken that lead us toward
thankfulness. We cannot and should not turn thankfulness on and off like a
faucet; we must continually walk in remembrance of what God is doing in our
life and in the lives of others.
Being unafraid is also challenging. Recently I attended a
devotional time lead by a fellow volunteer. We were reading from Matthew 14. Jesus
calls for Peter to walk on water and come to Jesus. Peter steps out on the
water, but he loses his focus on Jesus and starts to focus on the storm raging
around him and Peter starts to sink. Peter calls to Jesus for help, and Jesus
saves him from drowning. They both climb into the boat and then Jesus calms the
storm.
And Peter is literally me: acting in obedience, but losing
focus on God, beginning to sink and suddenly finding it necessary to cry out to
God to save Him. When God asked something of Peter, he followed in obedience
and was able to see God do something amazing, but he lost focus- what would the
situation have been if Peter had NOT noticed all the things that could go wrong,
and fully focused on Jesus?
The girl leading the study said that she noticed how when
Jesus climbed into the boat the wind calmed down- and if we invited Jesus into
our boat, He can calm our storms.
I literally died. Like what. If we invite Jesus into our
boat, He can calm our storms.
I was reminded that being unafraid to do what Jesus asks is
not just stepping out in faith, but following through and walking toward Jesus
even as storms rage around us. And when I do notice the storm, and when I begin
to be afraid, and I begin to sink because I have lost focus on Jesus, I can
invite Him into my boat, because He can calm my storms.
I’m reminded that Jesus can calm the storm I feel inside
about coming back to the States. And reminded that the people I am thankful for
here, I can be thankful for from home as.
Other thoughts:
I bike everywhere because Amsterdam. Here are some thoughts
I have had while riding my bike:
1.
I wonder if I can go up this curb…? Nope, that
was a bad idea.
2.
Am I allowed to park my bike here? (Note: the
answer was “no.” and my bike was impounded)
3.
I wonder how many bugs I’ve swallowed today…
4.
That pigeon will move (Note: the pigeon did not
move and I ran over it)
5.
That pigeon is going to fly into my head (Note:
it grazed my head)
6.
I wonder if I can text and ride a bike…?
7.
Why is biking so hard… is it supposed to be this
hard?
8.
I am so out of shape.
9.
Bikes would be better if they were cars.
1. I
love biking.
Life here is exciting, and hard, and loving, and forgiving.
I will cherish the time I have left serving at the Shelter and being here with the people I hold so dear.
Prayer requests:
1.
My heart is heavy as I prepare to leave in a few
weeks. Pray I will have peace.
2.
Also, I am sick and it’s the worst because I
want to spend every moment with the community. Pray I get well, and my
roommates and I stay healthy.
