i have many faults. the best of which i can’t share. it led
to me getting a cat and naming her October Christmas. she is perfect and she
will live outside because she doesn’t know the rules of the house |and dad has
little faith that she will ever learn them|. this is just an update; it’s the
most interesting of occurring events |when October Christmas comes home there
will be pictures|.
every first of the month i think of white rabbits, and get
excited for the 8th of the month because that means it’s the monthly
anniversary of my birthday |which is now the closest it’s ever been since
October 2013| and reflect on the past month which seems like ages ago even
though it was just yesterday.
amongst my faults are pinterest. pinterest is not only a way
for me to make lofty goals i don’t have the least intention of completing, it
is also one of the main means of communication with my youngest sibling |this
is not an exaggeration also not a fault|.
it’s the first of the month |or at least it was yesterday|
and per usual my thoughts went through their first of the month routine: i
thought of white rabbits and got excited for my birthday and when i began to
reflect on the previous month i immediately decided not to.
but pinterest would not let me escape. as i was on pinterest
this evening i noticed that even my pinestest board would not not let me
reflect on how truly lazy i was this summer. even my pinterest, which normally is
full of lofty goals, had one board titled “summer goals” |i actually have no
idea what it was actually called because i deleted it in a fit of rage|. i not
only had one pin on the dang board but i did not even try the pinned activity. and
it was easy. it was pizza made on a bar-b-q.
d.u.m. |dumb|
and it made me think: wow, i should make better goals. and i
should actually complete the goals i set.
|side note: i am now CPR/First Aid/ AED certified. so that’s
good summer accomplishment…|
i am, however, now tan and burned and well-rested. my pool
of loved ones has increased exponentially |MPC youth group is the coolest| and
i learned i was born to live in district 12. i met princess ariel. i celebrated
with a dear friend as she celebrated trying her first pie and welcoming in her
23rd year of being alive. i camped for the first time in years. i
held babies and chatted with nurses about love and careers. i swam with sharks
and moved in with dad. i learned I like coffee brewed with cinnamon and i can
drink 4 cans of diet root-beers before feeling sick. i enrolled in community
college full-time and requested to work part-time. i applied for a job and
landed the interview only to decline the job.
i cried and wept and read Lauren Winner’s chapter on
mourning from her book Mudhouse Sabbath. i was reminded that i was enough because
of Jesus.
i adjusted and fought and screamed. and on August 1, 2014 i
sat on an ice chest next to my youngest siblings in Carpenteria, half listening
to the reading on I Thessalonians, and keeping thoughts of goals and
reflections at bay.
but routine won over and i visited pinterest and was
reminded that summer was fun, and beautiful, and magical, albeit devoid of
concrete accomplishments, but crisp fall air is just around the corner.
|life starts over again when it gets crisp in the fall –f.
scott fitzgerald|
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